The Death of a Dream

In the tradition of self fulfilling prophecies, perhaps I screwed up when I attained a “love hurts” tattoo on Valentine’s Day in 2002.  At the time I was heartbroken, and I honestly also thought about Jesus’s love for us and how that love too hurt for him. For the majority of the month I have been nursing a broken heart from somoeone I probably shouldn’t have given my heart to in the first place, but when has that ever stopped me? LOL  It’s also not like I had a choice in the matter.  The first time I saw him I knew we weren’t done, and that was in 2001.  Almost a year ago I wrote a post about rock boys and how I knew exactly what I wanted in a man.  Less than a month later I ran into him again and just knew God had answered my prayers and laid before me the desires of my heart.   Stevie Nicks warned me about this a long time ago, and just like then, I ignored her advice.  Now I know that indeed, ‘thunder only happens when it’s raining, and players ONLY love you when they’re playing’.  Sad but true.  The time we spent together (no matter how seemingly short) highlighted the many many things we have in common, and I swear if there’s a better match out there for either of us then Godspeed b/c I can’t picture it.  Unfortunately he sure can.  Maybe this was wishful thinking that got out of hand on my part.  Maybe it’s bad timing.  Maybe I was never his type at all and he was just faking enjoying my company so he could almost get into my pants.  The hurt is starting to decrease, but I’m having a harder time killing off the voice in my head that keeps repeating “maybe he’ll come around”.

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